ENEMY

I feel as though
I am set to self-destruct
At any time
On any day
Never knowing when
The moment will come
Keeps me living
In a permanent state
Of such a fear
I can't escape
I've tried to run
So many times
For so many years
As long as I can remember
Always to find
Yet another dead end
Whoever designed
Such a maze
Forgot to include the way out
But I'm a *star*
When it comes to pretending
All is Well in Wonderland
At least I have succeeded
In something
The ability to hide
All that I truly am
From anyone
And everyone
I know now
I could run
A trillion miles
With my enemy
The one I flee from
Always following me
No matter where I go
So I can cry those tears
And wish upon a *star*
Numb my mind
All the time
Avoiding all reality
I can do these things
So easily
Almost without thought
Becoming
Second nature
Trading off
One for another
But how do I
Leave myself
My own worst enemy
Long and far behind?